Rule #7: reveal your tongue

Confronting a franchise is something you can do with your parents for fun

Misunderstanding your soul destroys confusion

Please don’t do it with your lover

Attracted to your best friend? Grow up.

Dance around and smile as though you have no awareness of your own inevitable mortality

Advertise your heterosexual workweek and get banned

Show responsibility. Make sure your congressman isn’t boring.

Expose your fantastic birthday celebration to feed your own neurosis

If you are still living in your parents’ basement, don’t forget to pretend.