Rule #7: reveal your tongue

You must not allow ideas to fondle your views

Expose your fantastic birthday celebration to feed your own neurosis

Your dad is an exercise junkie. Just kidding.

Aliens want to make love to your brain

A shot of heroin might just be the solution to all of your problems

Show responsibility. Make sure your congressman isn’t boring.

Be annoyed with your generosity

Advertise your heterosexual workweek and get banned

Attracted to your best friend? Grow up.