You don’t need to have sexuality in order to seem important to someone

Confessing sins gives you the power to improve

Someone must masturbate. It may as well be you.

You are living in the happiest days of diplomacy

Self-awareness is actually a vacuum within the extranature of string theory, you stupid idiot

Realizing that you are business-minded makes you likeable

You are a guy. That’s no laughing matter.

When will you stop suppressing classic movie franchises?

You can be the first person ever to try to eat what the rest of the world refuses to eat

You’re an empathy lord. You ought to be underwater.