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God bless the dangerous, for they will someday reap your fortune.

bless, dangerous, for, fortune, god, reap, someday, the, they, will, your

Confronting a franchise is something you can do with your parents for fun

can, confronting, for, franchise, fun, parents, something, with, you, your

Aliens want to make love to your brain

aliens, brain, love, make, want, your

Drunk up your regulations

drunk, regulations, your

Show responsibility. Make sure your congressman isn’t boring.

boring, congressman, isn’t, make, responsibility, show, sure, your

Attracted to your best friend? Grow up.

attracted, best, friend, grow, your

Rule 12: play with your friends

friends, play, rule, with, your

Advertise your heterosexual workweek and get banned

advertise, and, banned, get, heterosexual, workweek, your

Dedicate the rest of your life to salvation, chanting and overeating.

and, chanting, dedicate, life, overeating, rest, salvation, the, your

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Recent Quotes

Don’t stop social intoxication
You seem to be the kind of mother who advices their children to want to break into song
Isn’t it kind of obvious that physical objects can change our perception of crises if we just take one step back and look at everything as a whole?
Faith is biased
Finding your true self is not a question of will you marry me, but why not now
Anonymous sex is an indulgence for the nerds

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