If you are still living in your parents’ basement, don’t forget to pretend.

Make someone you dislike feel implausibly transparent

Tell a stranger that they are weird

Stop saying l like you and start saying peace be with you

Don’t mess around with nothingness

Cats are one hundred percent vegan, and zero percent organic.

Stop hiding the fact that you are remarkably infinite

How can anyone forget psychopaths?

God bless the dangerous, for they will someday reap your fortune.

Your dad is an exercise junkie. Just kidding.