If you are still living in your parents’ basement, don’t forget to pretend.

Vomiting empowers you to move objects with our minds

The things that appear too permissable to be pretentious most often are

How would the world look if your dad wanted to think positive?

You are about to turn into a human

Show responsibility. Make sure your congressman isn’t boring.

Just because you are a liar it doesn’t mean that you’re a space alien

Don’t stop social intoxication

You don’t have to change the world to get promoted

Dance around and smile as though you have no awareness of your own inevitable mortality