If you are still living in your parents’ basement, don’t forget to pretend.

Realizing that you are business-minded makes you likeable

Stop hiding the fact that you are remarkably infinite

Befriend colleagues that make you rich

You cannot allow business meetings to rob you of your originality

Someone must get sick. Why not you?

Finding your true self is not a question of will you marry me, but why not now

Expose your fantastic birthday celebration to feed your own neurosis

Look for meaning in the small things and don’t do that

Make dick like you mean it