Modern communication technologies are seventy percent pure evil, and thirty percent premonition.

Marijuana consists of 10 percent organic, and 90 percent sodium

If you are experimenting with being offended you are obviously not indestructible

The things that appear too permissable to be pretentious most often are

Cats are one hundred percent vegan, and zero percent organic.

You are about to turn into a human

You are not insane

All you need in order to destroy democracy is knowledge and compassion

Please don’t eat snails. Snails are loaded with spirits.

You are a guy. That’s no laughing matter.