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Confessing sins gives you the power to improve

confessing, gives, improve, power, sins, the, you

Quarantining is charity

charity, quarantining

In order to get a girlfriend, one must first be obsessed with sex.

first, get, girlfriend, must, obsessed, one, order, sex, with

Please don’t eat snails. Snails are loaded with spirits.

are, don't, eat, loaded, please, snails, spirits, with

There’s a clear link between being smart and acting like a douchebag

acting, and, being, between, clear, douchebag, like, link, smart, there’s

You can not and must not allow cigarettes to change your sense of self

allow, and, can, change, cigarettes, must, not, self, sense, you, your

Someone must get sick. Why not you?

get, must, not, sick, someone, why, you

You must say no to intercourse

intercourse, must, say, you

Avoid caffeine as often as possible

avoid, caffeine, often, possible

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Dance around and smile as though you have no awareness of your own inevitable mortality

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