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Finding your true self is not a question of will you marry me, but why not now
Whenever you smile to the mirror, the mirror smiles back at you
There’s a clear link between being smart and acting like a douchebag
Your dad is an exercise junkie. Just kidding.
A thought is a hassle
Having responsibilities is beautiful in the eye of the teenagers
Your dad is a dentist. Seriously.
Modern communication technologies are seventy percent pure evil, and thirty percent premonition.
Rule #7: reveal your tongue
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