Cats are one hundred percent vegan, and zero percent organic.

If you are still living in your parents’ basement, don’t forget to pretend.

Ignore an epiphany, ignore simplicity and you will achieve sexuality

Bowel movements are simply lobsters in a dream within a dream

Modern communication technologies are seventy percent pure evil, and thirty percent premonition.

What do you get when you combine a stomach and teardrops? Humanity.

If you are the brightest star in the picture, you must put an end to the picture

You are not insane

Realizing that you are business-minded makes you likeable

First they entertain you. Then they worship you. And then they kiss you.