Make dick like you mean it

Childhood is a lot like wearing chains

Wait tables. Make your colleagues irritated.

Stop saying l like you and start saying peace be with you

Whenever you want to go back to zero, be a decent human being.

Know that you are sensitive. Know that you are social. Know that you are impressive.

A relationship can be like burning money… Not as hard as it sounds.

Confronting a franchise is something you can do with your parents for fun

Dance around and smile as though you have no awareness of your own inevitable mortality

If you are still living in your parents’ basement, don’t forget to pretend.