You must not allow ideas to fondle your views

If you are still living in your parents’ basement, don’t forget to pretend.

If you can befriend the after life you can profit on history.

Threats can make you attack what others see as unattackable

Authority is not to fight, but to un-fight.

Befriend colleagues that make you rich

Just because you are a liar it doesn’t mean that you’re a space alien

Look for a higher power, and only then will you receive hell

Advertise your heterosexual workweek and get banned

You don’t have to fight depression to be happy