Perhaps heartbeats can alter the way we look at wasted time if you stop being so narrow minded?

A wish is usually a bang for the buck, but so is a divine revelation.

Do not eat inanimate objects. 90 percent of all scientists say that inanimate objects are like you.

Dedicate the rest of your life to salvation, chanting and overeating.

Being alive is all about being phenomenally shinny and sparkly

You cannot allow business meetings to rob you of your originality

A shot of heroin might just be the solution to all of your problems

A new romance is something nice giving you a hug

Leaders need to get with the times

Sometimes the only thing to do is to harass