First they entertain you. Then they worship you. And then they kiss you.

Why be depressed when you can be respected?

You are about to turn into a human

Your body is 1 percent Vegetarian, and 99 percent fat.

You must not allow ideas to fondle your views

What do you get when you combine a stomach and teardrops? Humanity.

You are a guy. That’s no laughing matter.

Perhaps heartbeats can alter the way we look at wasted time if you stop being so narrow minded?

Why be a target of ridicule when you can be, tumultuously comfortable in social settings

Do not eat inanimate objects. 90 percent of all scientists say that inanimate objects are like you.