When you seek a wife, get tricked into buying something

You are attractive

Computers need to get a grip

What makes you think you’re so mean?

You can be the first person ever to try to eat what the rest of the world refuses to eat

Someone must get sick. Why not you?

Dance around and smile as though you have no awareness of your own inevitable mortality

Just because you are a liar it doesn’t mean that you’re a space alien

Why be depressed when you can be respected?

You must say no to intercourse